I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
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pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
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Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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