It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
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We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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