omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
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