he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Randomize
