I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
