but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
These tits shall not be calmed
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
