Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Randomize
