First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
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