I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
They have beer where we have blood.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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