Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Randomize
