How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
