I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
