You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
