I feel like I'm in dance class right now
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
