My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize