im six kinds of drunk right now
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
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I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
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It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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