only if we run a train.
done.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize