Porn is love you can see.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
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