Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
