I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize