tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
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