I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Randomize
