My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize