a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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