hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
