All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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