He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
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I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
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We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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