i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
