First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
