the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Found your dick twin last night
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
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