I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
