Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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