You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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