I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
