The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize