I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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