thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
