youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
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I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
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They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.