why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
