I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
