you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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