in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
