my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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