in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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