1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
It's Friday. Sex?
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Randomize
