Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
