that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
