the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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