Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
