Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
