He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
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