I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
