Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
