yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
