so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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