i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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