He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
