Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
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it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
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His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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