I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
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