ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I FOUND THE LEGS
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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