she said she was living bicuriously through me.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
