Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
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Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize