It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
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